Told him I called his sister and received a loving caring call back. He mustered up a positive face. Said he slept in the doorway, if you could call it sleep. I guess. Hard floor. Immobilized. Alcohol probably inhibits movement so he stays on the area he warmed. May also lower his temperature. Cold last night, not winter VT cold, but cold-30s. “I had a heated grate for a while. It blew up warm air and then cold air.”
That he could stare, smile and complain indicated life wanting to live, just not knowing how right now. “Didn’t you go to Act 1 last night?” “Yeh. they told me to go away.” What time did you get there?” “8:3.0” “Isn’t that too late?” “Who knows. It was dark. I didn’t know what time it was.”
Thanks so much for your kindness and neutrality towards Paul. It means more to us than you know to see these pictures and read your posts. Mary sent along these links. Please send Paul our love if you can.
— John (Paul’s brother) and Christine (my wife)
in Oregon.
My honor, for sure, so no thanks needed. You must feel so helpless being so far away.
Lorin,
I became overwhelmed with the wash of emotions flooding my heart and could not answer your calls today. Your morning blog mirrors the dilemma of my history offering helpful solutions to Paul and reminded me of the devastation I experience with every conditional rejection. I will regroup, fortify my boundaries and return with love (always) and pragmatism.
Mary
Helpless, yes. And other feelings. It’s not just the distance, although that sure figures in. As you know, this is complicated…thanks so much for the communication. It’s worth more than anything… – J
nice post. thanks.