Portraits – Page 2 – Lorin Duckman Today

Argus

So, last night Argus visited me during sleep. He never closes his eyes, looking into the future and remembering the past. Both for me seem pretty scary.

I have never gained control over the remnants of my past trauma or regained any sense I had control over the smashup that stole my career and adulthood. Even my understanding wife has had a tough time living with it. So it goes.

The future remains dim, too, now that I face a multitude of physical problems: blood, skin and spine being the most pressing. But I forage on, trying as I might try to live in the present, always valueing what I have, rather than what I lost which will never again be within my reach. No more dreams or long range plans.

Florida is the kind of place where many leave behind their real lives.

Juvenile Woodstork

I don’t photograph birds. But this kid posed.

Lorin Duckman, Present

No looking back. Too many difficult memories. Hard to look forward, because so many doors closed. Just happy to see myself in the mirror, everyday, after waking up next to Sharon.

One day at a time. Every day is a circus day.

Chuck Close, Dead at 81

Chuck Close died. He made art, lived a life that challenged his body and his mind, and lost the battle of the sexes. His sexually charged comments to some of his models led to the cancellation of a major retrospective and probably some lawsuits. Our loss.

What is the matter with these women? Their puritanical views deprived us of seeing his works and deprived him of us showing him our respect. Can you imagine Manet’s or Cezanne’s models complaining? How about Rueben’s models for the “Rape of the Sabine Women“?

Ducks Do Walking Wounded

So, Sharon stepped wrong going for a backhand. Tendonitis. Me, flipper fingers. Podiatrist wrapped her foot. Hand doctor put me out, cut and sutured. Seems like we are always at one doctor’s office or another. What would we do without health care? What do others do?

Sharon Duckman

Sharon and Theodore have a birthday, today. I love both of them. The only present she asked for was a BIDEN victory.

Boca Museum Reopens

We went to the early opening for members, but the power was out due to a thunder storm. Felt normal being able to visit a cultural institution in the midst of Corona and Black Lives Matter. We even dressed for the date.

We returned the next day. Only a few people present. Museum show featured Self-Portraits from the National Gallery and prints by Steichen. We dressed again.

I got to see a Chuck Close, one of my favorites and pose with him. Too complicated to explain here.

But Steichen will always be the start, the greatest portraitist of the 20th Century. He invented it. Here is a self-portrait where he photographs himself as a painter. He preferred photography and destroyed many of his paintings.

What Now

Now what? I always wanted to make a contribution. Now, all I can do is survive. Can’t go out. Cannot volunteer. Don’t have all that much money to donate. I just have to not get sick, er sicker. I have been reading and writing, wondering what the meaning of life is. A lifetime learner, what will my knowledge mean to anyone other than me?

Sharon and Theodore

So, some of you may know Theodore, Sharon’s bear from childhood. He used to come to court with me, riding in my brief case. Judge Archie Gorfinkel signed the adoption papers at our wedding. He always has a positive attitude and strong opinions about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. He has been a part of Sharon’s life, forever.

Duckman Fights CLL and Corona

I fight the battle of Corona and CLL from all fronts. Keeping my mind active as a photog, my body strong by walking and biking and my system enriched. Who do the voodoo that you do so well. We all be human, mortal people, whose life spans happen when they happen. Keep the pills coming and the vodka chilled.